Friday, July 15, 2016

The Problem With A Rambling Mind


Where do I jot down everything?

I have empty notebooks and questionable post-its and half filled journals and unfinished tweet threads and notes on notes on notes theoretically stacked inside my phone and tablet and even old broken phones that I can never retrieve. How do I keep it all in one place?

This is also my problem with social media in general. How do I say what I need to say without getting the wrong kind of attention (ie that of my grandmothers on Facebook)? Or not gaining enough attention (ie trying to get retweets to push a friends new music video)? You have so many followers here and there and it's about choosing which outlet to go through to reach your target whether it simply the attention or promotion for a cause or because you just feel like venting into the nothingness of the internet.

Of course, I would normally just write this stuff down in my thick leather bound journal where I paste flowers and movie tickets and wrist bands from festivals but…today I just need to fake scream into the void. Plus…my hand cramps and I can't write as fast as I think. :)

Lately, I've also been thinking about retaking up vlogging. Just talking to a camera and posting it where barely anyone has a clue about me. It's a lot of work but I've been more confident with speaking and portraying what I actually mean through rough hand gestures and my indelicate eyebrows. But than I remember….someone once approached me at a local gas station because they knew I had a YouTube channel and they wanted to tell me they liked me.

I got really creeped out but really happy.
Thanks, internet. I'm having an existential crisis.

(photo by me. the sky outside my job before it got hectic)

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